Thursday, August 7, 2014
Fertility and God's Perfect Timing
We want four children. That's what we'd always say when we talked about family plans, even when we were still dating. We wanted 3-5 kids, to be approximate, but there was just something that felt perfect about the number 4. Then we married. And we tried.
And, finally, God blessed us with Phoebe. Now we've been trying for two years to conceive again, and we are waiting on God's perfect timing.
It would be easy to be upset every time a friend gets pregnant, but I don't. Babies are good news! It would be easy to wallow in jealousy, but there is always the voice of God in my heart telling me to trust his perfect timing. And I do.
But, not always...sometimes I am sad and anxious about our (in)fertility. However, these moments of sadness are mere temptations that enter my mind. Then, I offer the thoughts up to God.
And do you know what glory God has worked in our lives? Well...
There is something else that Matt and I have talk about ever since we started talking about our future family: adoption. The seed of adoption has always been hidden away in our hearts. We'd say, "someday" and "maybe"...but now that we see it is harder for us to get pregnant, we find deep blessing in our circumstances.
You see: if we popped out babies easily, I fear there would be no room left in our lives for our adopted children. But God is good. He has given us exactly the amount of fertility we need. And the seed of adoption keeps growing & growing in our hearts. Now I truly believe it will one day be a reality.
I'm thinking we might try to adopt in 3 or so years? It's hard to tell with these things. But I do see God working in our hearts and our lives and creating something magnificent...something we could have never imagined on our own.
And in the meantime?
In the meantime I will pour over beautiful pictures of big families full of kiddos. I will let God fill me with hope.
-- Erin || ekwetzel.com || @ekwetzel
(original post appeared on instagram)