Monday, August 11, 2014

How Many Times Do I Have To Repent?

do not provoke your children

"Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Colossians 3:21
It's really hard to apologize to Phoebe. It's really hard to humble myself and repent to my three year old. Some days I have one of those days when I fly off the handle too many times in a row and I feel like all I'm doing is repenting and reconciling, and I want to make a cosmic deal: "I apologized 6 times already, God. Isn't that enough?? She's only a kid. She's not gonna MAKE me reconcile." 

Then I think of this verse: Colossians 3:21. And I remember what it used to be like growing up with a father who got angry a lot and never apologized. And I realize: there isn't even a shimmer of doubt: reconciliation with my daughter is what I MUST do.

These lessons of reconciliation with my daughter have softened my heart and opened me up to deeper mysteries...What does reconciliation look like between adults?...What does it feel like to forgive people who have never reconciled with me?...What kind of freedom awaits when I'm able to just let petty squabbles go?... 

And I pray..."Oh Dear God, please hide my feelings and my fears and my hopes in you. Let my identity be redeemed by you. Fill me with your purpose, and make my heart whole. Amen."

-- Erin || || @ekwetzel

(original post appeared on instagram)

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